Alone And In Love

    We all enter this world alone and leave alone. What we do in the time in between depends on the humans and animals who enter our lives,the choices we make and ultimately being able to rest solo in our own human skin. If you are like me, you feel the presence of love in others,in nature and from "above." How is it then we can feel so achingly alone in a room full of people? We peer over the edge,just beyond the bend,where togetherness and completeness seems to abound? I believe this is just the human condition.
    Tonight I was overtaken by an extreme sense of loneliness and almost bitterness over the fact that I am alone in a society full of couples. I long for and deserve happiness like everyone else,I thought as I negatively drove my car home to an empty house. Then I reminded myself that some of the loneliest times of my life were when I was in serious relationships, enveloped in the arms of past boyfriends,  who were only able to love me on their terms. How I recall the freedom I felt,the safety I felt,the wholeness I felt,as I was finally free of my last unhealthy long term relationship. I told myself I am alone. I am alone and I am more than enough. For the past two years I have turned care toward myself and worked diligently on trying to talk to myself the way I would to a best friend. I have had some interesting,painful and hilarious dating experiences along the way, but I have learned how to let go.
   I know I will go through this cycle again and likely have to remind myself that I am more than enough.  In these dark moments I reach out,if only with a status update on Facebook or a phone call, and am overwhelmed and shocked by the basic kindness of my friends and family. There is no greater accomplishment in life than to love and be loved.  I take this ineffable energy we call love and store it deep in my heart.
    Wholeness and love,especially love of one's own self, provide a center of balance that help us remain together in times of strife. Alone,yes,we all are.We are alone together.We are more than enough together. I will continue to reach out to life as much as I can and I must have faith that it will reach out to me.

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My home is within my heart. My home is in my beautiful house with my furry dog babies.

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